Shaken

Can I stand?
Sure footed, always
when the winds blow
does this tree bend low?
does it crack and fall?
does it pull its roots
or have they grown deep?

I speak of grace
as though I will never need it
moreso, weakness
as though I'm always strong.

A row of ducks

If you asked me today where I’m headed I would shake my head and say, "I don’t know." At least as it pertains to immediate direction. I have ideas like going for walks and holding small hands and reading story books at night. But the puzzle is a many piece conflict and I’ve found some of the pieces, the outer edges, a frame work in place and partially filled in. It would be easier to use crayons and draw in the pictures, any colors I want.

If you asked me today where I’m headed I would shake my head and say, "I don’t know." I’m not talking about heaven or hell. There are a few things I’m at peace over. But yesterday I thought about singing my heart out and finding somethinig to write a book about and evolving and finding my niche, some place I can say, "I make my own profit." And there was a conflict because I haven’t found that puzzle piece yet. I’ve found some of the pieces, the roots to some sturdy timber, a leaf or two and even a nest with a mother bird in it. Who said you can have all your ducks in a row? They waddle and quack, out of line ruffling their feathers. I manage one sqeaking bathtub buddy that gets squeazed and thrown out of the bath water, sometimes it bobs through the suds and stays afloat.

I could be more forceful or motivated or passionate, (one of those) but then I might have to wrangle something I’ve never had.

I've pinched this place again
still numb
and if something awakes and rolls over
the length of
then when the waves beat the shore
I'll be there too


And you've seen me do this dance
a hundred times before
with war paint dripping off the edge of my nose
and you can imagine
that if there was someplace big enough
wide enough
a big sky
to saddle up
and ride my pony under
then I'd be there
arrow held tight
straining the leather

straight to the heart I'd go.